A Self Contradicting Contradiction

Insert cryptic message here

5 notes

I put on my robe and wizard hat... ;)

Bloodninja:
Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14:
Aight.
Bloodninja:
Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14:
I slip out of my pants, just for you, Bloodninja.
Bloodninja:
Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14:
Oh, I like to play dress up.
Bloodninja:
Me too baby.
BritneySpears14:
I kiss you softly on your chest.
Bloodninja:
I cast Lvl 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14:
Hey...
Bloodninja:
I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl 8 Penis of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14:
Funny I still don't see it.
Bloodninja:
I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14:
You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
Bloodninja:
Don't f**k with me biznitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
Bloodninja:
I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14:
Don't ever message me again you piece.
Bloodninja:
Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
Bloodninja:
King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
Bloodninja:
You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
Bloodninja:
Baby?

2 notes

Bloodninja:
Wanna cyber?
MommyMelissa:
Sure, you into vegetables?
Bloodninja:
What like gardening an s**t?
MommyMelissa:
Yeah, something like that.
Bloodninja:
Nuthin turns me on more, check this out
Bloodninja:
You bend over to harvest your radishes.
(pause)
MommyMelissa:
is that it?
Bloodninja:
You water your tomato patch.
Bloodninja:
Are you ready for my fresh produce?
MommyMelissa:
I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
(pause)
Bloodninja:
I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... Sexily.
Bloodninja:
I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains.
MommyMelissa:
Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
Bloodninja:
my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
Bloodninja:
Damn baby your right, this s**t is HOT.
MommyMelissa:
...
Bloodninja:
My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
MommyMelissa:
What the f**k is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
Bloodninja:
Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. B**ch.
MommyMelissa:
whatever.